


You're So Square (Baby I Don't Care)

by BadBadBucky



Category: The Mighty Boosh (TV)
Genre: Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-05
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-18 17:34:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29861643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BadBadBucky/pseuds/BadBadBucky
Summary: Another prompt from the Spontaneous Kiss Kiss Event! This prompt was sent to me by the wonderful Terrantalen, based on the song You're So Square (Baby I Don't Care) by Buddy Holly.Howard Moon cannot understand why on Earth the most popular boy in school, Vince Noir, would want to date a square like him.
Relationships: Howard Moon/Vince Noir
Comments: 2
Kudos: 9
Collections: Trash Triplets Present (to our own surprise): The Completely Spontaneous Kiss Kiss Week Collection





	You're So Square (Baby I Don't Care)

Howard knew that he was not exactly holding up his end on this whole “dating” thing. He and Vince been going out for weeks, and they still hadn’t kissed once.

When Vince had asked him to go steady a few weeks ago, Howard had at first thought it must be some sort of joke. There was no way that Vince Noir, one of the most popular boys in school with the amazing hair and beautiful eyes and mysterious background, would ever look twice at plain boring square Howard Moon, but look twice he had, and, to hear Vince tell it, several more times after that. 

Vince and Howard had never really spent much time together, though they had gone to the same school for much of their lives. Vince had always been nice to Howard, in that vague way nice people are nice to everyone, but Howard had never gotten the impression that Vince liked him. But then, Vince had approached Howard after school one day and asked him out.

Howard had been too shocked to say no, and before he knew it, Vince had whisked him away to an old-fashioned American style diner, done up to look like it was straight out of Grease. Vince had told Howard that Grease was one of his favorite movies. This was just one of the many things Howard had learned over the course of that afternoon. He’d also learned that Vince loved to dance, he made a lot of his own clothes, and that he thought Howard was very very cute. 

Vince had walked Howard home. All the way up to his front door. Then he had shuffled around, stubbing the toe of his boot into the ground, before finally asking if he could kiss Howard. The thought had filled Howard with terror and so he had squeaked “no thank you!” and disappeared into the house. He had watched through the blinds to see Vince’s reaction. Vince had merely shrugged his shoulders and walked across Howard’s yard back to the street, his hands shoved into his pockets, singing some sort of song.

Howard had been sure that he had ruined any chance he had with Vince with his prudish ways, but the next day, Vince had asked him out again. They had gone to a movie, and Vince had asked if they could hold hands. Howard had agreed and with the smile that spread across Vince’s face, you would think Howard had allowed him to go to third base. 

Vince did not ask to kiss Howard again. He seemed perfectly content with holding hands, sharing milkshakes, and dancing around while Howard watched--too shy to join in. After a week, Vince had asked Howard if he wanted to go steady, and Howard had agreed, still not quite understanding what Vince got out of the relationship. 

After school, Howard waited around for Vince. They’d been walking home from school together, every day for the last two weeks. He thought he heard Vince’s voice and walked toward the sound. He saw Vince sitting on the concrete steps with a few of his mates. Howard hung back, Vince’s mates were not as nice as Vince.

“So, Moony give it up yet?” one of Vince’s mates asked.

Another one let out a great braying laugh. “As if! Moon is such a prude, there is no way he unlocked that chastity belt.”

“Shut up!” Vince said. “Don’ talk about him like that.”

Vince’s mates laughed again. 

Howard backed away from the sound of the cruel laughter. He was a terrible boyfriend. Vince was getting teased because Howard refused to put out. Or even kiss. He should break up with Vince right now, set him free to be with someone cooler and less uptight. It was the humane thing to do. 

Vince came around the corner. Howard could see there were bright red spots on Vince’s cheeks and his gait was clipped and efficient, rather than graceful and light the way it usually was, but when Vince saw Howard, the sour look on his face twisted like an origami crane into a wide smile.

“Alright Howard?” Vince said. He reached down to pick up Howard’s hand. 

“We have to break up,” Howard said, just as Vince’s hand closed around his own. 

Vince’s mouth dropped open. “What? Why?” He hadn’t let go of Howard’s hand. In fact he was squeezing it harder. 

Howard was horrified to see that Vince’s eyes were rapidly filling with tears. He rushed forward to explain. “Because I don’t like to dance, and I like pencil cases and history books and--and--”

“And you’re too smart for me,” Vince said, dejectedly, “I knew it. I knew you was, but you’re just so cute, so I thought, maybe…” Vince finally let go of Howard’s hand. “I get it.” He turned to walk away. 

“No!” Howard said. “That’s not--I mean--”

Vince turned back around, a questioning look on his face. 

“I’ve never kissed anyone before,” Howard said. “And I uh, get quite nervous, at the thought of it.”

“Oh!” Vince practically skipped back over to Howard’s side and picked up his hand. I don’ care about that.”

“You don’t care that we have nothing in common and I’m the biggest square you’ve ever met?” Howard said.

“Course not! I already knew you was a square. I like squares. There’s only room in this relationship for one cool person and I’ve got that slot well filled,” Vince said.

“So you really don’t mind?” Howard asked.

Vince smiled. “‘Course not. You’ll be ready when you’re ready, til then, I like doing this.” He gently raised Howard’s hand up and pressed his lips to the back of Howard’s hand. 

After they’d been dating for a few months, Howard invited Vince to go to the Grease diner where they had had their first date. They shared a milkshake and Howard got up to dance with Vince, without Vince even having to ask. They did the twist and the mashed potato and several moves Howard was fairly sure Vince had just made up.

At the end of the evening, instead of turning right to head toward Howard’s house (Vince always walked him home after their dates), Howard turned left, toward Vince’s house.

“Thought I’d walk you home for a change,” Howard said. 

They walked hand in hand, and Howard appreciated that Vince didn’t mention the torrential downpour of sweat coming from Howard’s palm. Finally, they reached the front door of Vince’s home. Vince pulled out his key and went to slide it into the lock.

“Wait,” Howard said.

Vince turned to face him. 

Howard stood on the doorstep, fidgeting with the front of his jumper, pulling it down, adjusting the collar, pushing the sleeves up, then pulling them back down. Vince simply stood and waited. Eventually, Howard got up the courage to ask his question.

“Might I kiss you?” Howard asked.

Vince’s face broke into a grin. “A’course!”

Howard leaned forward and pressed his lips to Vince’s, very softly at first. He was leaning over so far, he thought he might actually lose his balance, and so he took a step forward. Vince reached out and grabbed both of Howard’s hands in his own, interlacing their fingers. 

When they finally stopped kissing, Howard saw Vince’s lips were bright pink and his eyes looked even more sparkly than usual.

“And just where,” Vince said, “did a square like you, learn to kiss like that?”


End file.
